don't go wasting your emotion ;

[» striker !]

shadestar.

shadestar grinned as he lay just in front of his den. he shared it with no other cat, not just yet. that would change only when he found the she-cat he respected and cared for, deeply. but for now, he was content. no great disasters loomed upon thunderclan, no wars on the horizon or rumours of terrifying rogues. instead, it was time to settle back and hear what his clan had to say. in keeping with his usual stance on being the most caring leader of the four clans, he made sure at least five times in each moon to make himself available to all his clanmates to vent their worries and frustrations. of course, he was always there in emergencies but sometimes thunderclanners just needed someone to listen to them without needing to explain themselves or make a big deal of it. just having someone there, nodding along or offering tidbits of advice really helped to lift the mood of someone struggling with an emotional burden. whether it was something very small or something very big, he would be there, listening.

he yawned slightly and shook out his tail, feeling a little stiff in the early morning dew. many cats would not be awake yet, but he had already seen a few of his fellow warriors making their way out towards the old prey trails and the usual haunts: snakerocks, the thunderpath. with his pink tongue lolling a little out of his mouth, he closed his eyes with their overly large pupils for a few seconds and opened them again, surveying his camp, wondering who might approach him, or even if anycat would. he minded very little either way; it was a pleasant morning and it would not be ruined if he had to spend it alone. he was still feeling the sting of missing a deputy, and the worries of clan life were totally on his shoulders now. but not to worry, he told himself. thunderclan would get back onto its feet. he just had to bide his time and keep doing what he was doing: caring.

[/blockquote]

[Tralfamadore]

While some cats were leaving camp, others were returning; Thorntooth entered ThunderClan's camp alone, her border patrol "buddy" having been intercepted by a departing ThunderClan hunting party. Thorntooth knew her former apprentice would never turn down a chance to supply for the Clan, even if she was tired from a long border patrol. As such, it didn't surprise her at all when the younger cat went scurrying off with several other warriors to comb the forest for any mice that had left their burrows. With a loud yawn, her teeth glinting in the morning sunlight, she cast a glance over at the freshkill pile with her good eye. It was getting rather low, but that was to be expected; it was leaf-bare, after all. All of the prey was hiding away in little burrows that cats couldn't reach. Still, the sight concerned her. What with the recent issues in Clan hierarchy (namely, the lack of deputy), there wasn't room for a prey shortage in the list of ThunderClan's pressing problems.

Thorntooth yawned again and stretched out her front legs. She'd leave camp and hunt after a quick rest. Perhaps she could convince a few other warriors to come with her; hunting alone didn't appeal to her in the slightest, and surely more cats would be awake in half an hour or so. The warmth of the warriors' den was very alluring, and she began to walk over towards it. On her way back to the warriors' den, however, she happened to catch sight of a rather nonchalant-looking Shadestar (then again, didn't he basically always look like that?) flopping around in front of his den.

Shadestar. All alone.

Suddenly, her fatigue faded, and she stopped in her tracks a few paces away from the den's entrance. Possibilities flooded her mind, and her ears pricked up as a new scheme quickly laid itself out in her mind. This was perfect. She hadn't had an opportunity like this for quite some time. Shadestar was just so well-liked that it was difficult to get him alone just for casual conversation. It always felt like there was some cat mewing for his attention and company. And, in light of ThunderClan not having a deputy, this situation was even better. This was a brilliant chance to set herself up as a potential candidate for being the new deputy. And, if all went well, Shadestar could possibly see her as the only good candidate.

"Good morning, Shadestar!" Thorntooth meowed. She padded over closer to the leader with a cheery spring in her step, the cold ground crunching beneath her feet. With a slight bow of her head, she said, "Swiftstep and I just checked the ShadowClan boundary. It looks like they're staying on their side of the Thunderpath."

Thorntooth hadn't initially intended to turn the border patrol into a way of "proving" how useful she was to the Clan. Earlier that morning, when the sun had barely even risen, Swiftstep had woken her up and asked if she'd do a border patrol with her. Thorntooth was probably the cat that Swiftstep trusted the most and felt the most comfortable badgering for accompanying her on an early morning patrol. Though, come to think of it, had Swiftstep even been told by Shadestar to do a border patrol? It wasn't really a stretch to think that Swiftstep had decided to do it on her own. No matter -- it had worked out in her favor, anyway. Taking the initiative in doing a border patrol would surely make Shadestar think well of her. Thorntooth turned her thoughts back to the leader and advancing to phase two of her plot.

"It's a pretty cold morning to be sitting out here in the open, isn't it?" she remarked with a slight purr in her voice. Without meaning to, Thorntooth shivered a bit as well, and she curled her tail around her feet to supply herself with a little extra warmth.

[» striker !]

shadestar.

noticing the spotted female pace towards him, shadestar's chilled-out face broke into his recognisable huge grin and he returned her greeting with great warmth. "well, good morning to you too! up early, i see." the reason for this was explained as she continued, and he answered her with a grateful nod, his large brown eyes blinking slowly. he considered her for a moment, staying silent as he remarked upon her appearance. she was lithe and fit, muscled but not overly large; and the scars dotted across her form, barely hidden by her short fur. she was a great warrior, that much was true, but sometimes he wondered what was going on in that head of hers. she was not open like some others, easily read and understood. he liked to know what his clan-mates were thinking so he could do what they wanted of him. with thorntooth, it was decidedly more difficult. but he was thoroughly impressed that, given the lack of a deputy to assign the daily border patrols, she had taken it upon herself to take the initiative and make sure shadowclan cats were not marking any trees past their secret passageway under the thunderpath - which shadestar had yet to find and whose existence irritated him to no end.

thorntooth, in her wisdom and her strength, was a great asset to thunderclan, especially in light of their current situation and lack of warriors. and without a deputy, it took a feline with some experience to back him up when he attempted to lead his clan. he smiled at her, purring equally, but he found no truth in her little statement. "actually, it is quite a pleasant morning," he said amiably, blinking sagely. he found his thick, long-haired fur kept out a lot of the cold - though it meant when it rained it felt like he was carrying the weight of another cat on his back - and so he did not shiver like thorntooth. "are you cold? perhaps we could go inside," he said, worry causing a frown on his cheerful forehead. he would not want thorntooth to catch a cold just because his genetics were blessed with longer, warmer fur. he could not live with that guilt, especially not on such a brilliant morning. the sun was dawning a bright gold on the horizon but its warmth had not yet spread to the dew-coated, frost-bound earth beneath their claws. with leaf-bare came snow, and the tips of the trees were dusted in a coating which would melt when, albeit weak, the sunhigh sun got to its highest. he stood and walked towards thorntooth, wrapping his sleek tail around her toes too, feeling guilty about being so warm.

[/blockquote]

[Tralfamadore]

When Shadestar denied how cold it was, Thorntooth could only nod a little in understanding. That was right -- in her haste to make small talk, Thorntooth had forgotten how thick Shadestar's fur was. He had enough fur for three cats. It was a wonder that he survived the warmer seasons -- though Thorntooth knew just as well as anyone else that every cat, even the more thickly-furred ones, shed their leaf-bare coats for a nice, lighter newleaf ones, it felt like to her that there was never any visible difference in Shadestar between seasons. Idly, she wondered how he felt during greenleaf. Such a long coat was pretty impractical for a cat. It could more easily get caught on brambles in the undergrowth, or it could --

Did he just offer to have her in his den? Given the leader's nature, Shadestar probably wasn't too uptight about who he did and didn't see in his den, but Thorntooth felt like it was a step forward in getting close enough to Shadestar that he decided to make her deputy. Plus, she really was cold, and Shadestar's den was certainly warmer than out in the open. As if to prove that point, she gave another involuntary shiver.

"That's a very generous offer," said Thorntooth, a little of the surprise in her voice being genuine. She tilted her head to the side and purred again. "But are you sure all of your she-cat admirers won't get jealous, Shadestar?"

It was the perfect combination of not looking too eager but not denying the offer entirely. At least, Thorntooth thought so. Nearby, another warrior staggered out of the den so loudly that she couldn't help but turn away from Shadestar for a second and look over at what the warrior was doing. When she turned back, Shadestar was up on his feet, presumably to lead her into the leader's den. Thorntooth's seeing eye widened slightly in confusion when Shadestar walked towards her rather than into his den. What was he doing?

And all of a sudden, his tail was curled around her feet, too, and she could feel that he really was very, very warm, both in personality and just in general body heat. The feeling of Shadestar being so close just made her feel a bit on edge, but she tried to shut away that feeling in order to make herself look collected and not at all suspicious. Almost as though she was afraid Shadestar would somehow see through her at such a close range, Thorntooth's heart quickened its pace, like a rabbit on the run from a hungry predator, and for a brief second she looked down at her paws rather than at Shadestar. As soon as she did it, she realized that it really would look like she had something to hide, so Thorntooth raised her head and looked back to Shadestar, hoping that she didn't look fearful or anything.

[» striker !]

shadestar.

shadestar only shook his head slightly to the left at her surprised tone. there were no protocols that said that the leader could not take a potentially freezing she-cat into his den. there was nothing amorous, nothing romantic about it at all. shadestar simply wanted to make sure his good friend was warm and comfortable, and that was all there was to it. he laughed openly with his head back at her next comment. "oh, i don't have she-cat admirers," he said dismissively, but inside his mind he was overjoyed at the fact that thorntooth - a savvy cat, if ever there were - had reason to believe that he did in fact have she-cat admirers, and the glow reached to his smile and his eyes. barely a day when past when he was not smiling for some reason or another, and some days went past when he was just grinning stupidly for no reason. cats seemed to appreciate a little bit of golden sunshine and positive feelings against the backdrop of the problems that his clan-mates struggled through and the dark times that lay ahead for thunderclan. as she looked away at something that made a noise - shadestar looked slightly above her shoulder out of the corner of his eye, but he had obviously missed it - and her attention snapped back to him, he could feel her heartbeat quicken even as their pelts were touching just slightly on the edges.

she was scared of something; perhaps the tom who had just left the den was causing her some strife. that thought made him angry, but his logical side reasoned with that sudden anger: what kind of tomcat would go up against thorntooth? and win? her coy look at her paws and then her sudden eye contact made him realise that he was clearly making her uncomfortable with her presence so close to her form and he moved away, motioning towards the den with a black paw. "you look absolutely frozen, thorntooth," he said, with what could only be described as a motherly smile. "come on inside and you can warm up. have you had any breakfast yet? i find a lukewarm vole or stoat will always fill me with warmth from the inside out." she seemed conflicted, so he guessed it was simply because she did not want to appear like they were carrying on some kind of relationship. which they were not, and plenty of tomcats would find the spotted feline attractive - although he himself, to tell the truth, did not - and she did not want to jeopardise her future relationship possibilities. she was a shrewd she-cat if ever there were and he respected that. he stood up and moved away, walking towards the den. if she followed, then she followed, but he had probably just crossed a boundary that could never be uncrossed. he sighed. he must remember from now on; not every feline was as comfortable with physicality as he was. not every feline was as comfortable with anything as he was, really.

[/blockquote]

[Tralfamadore]

Luckily for Thorntooth, Shadestar didn't appear to read anything into her fear, or he just ignored it entirely. She could've thanked StarClan for that small favor, but instead just visibly relaxed when Shadestar pulled away. But, still -- however nice Shadestar was, she couldn't risk being careless. There was no telling if his kindness was all part of an act or an elaborate ruse, much like hers was. Shadestar certainly had a reputation among the other four Clans for being the "weakest" leader, no doubt what had led to ThunderClan being something of the butt of everyone's jokes. She'd heard as much at the last few Gatherings she'd been to; how Shadestar was weak, how it was only a matter of time before another Clan tried to take some of ThunderClan's territory for themselves, and so on. But what if it was all part of some grand scheme to lure the other Clans into a state of false security? As Shadestar indicated his den, she merely nodded and smiled, and then looked to the freshkill pile again. On closer assessment, it looked too low for comfort, and, to Thorntooth's knowledge, most of it had been caught a few days ago. Taking from ThunderClan's already limited resources was a poor idea. There was no telling when the next time the warriors would bring in lots of prey.

She shrugged and shook her head. "I'm not hungry -- best to save the prey for someone else who needs it more, anyway."

Selflessness when it came to the Clan's well-being, another good deputy trait. She appeared to have made a good impression on him, but she wasn't going to let up on the "assault". Slipping up now meant that she could potentially throw away her chance to be made deputy, and she really wasn't going to have anymore opportunities like this if Shadestar decided some other cat was more fit to be deputy than her. Thorntooth stood up and padded over to Shadestar's den, slowing down a bit as she actually entered. She couldn't remember the last time she had come into the leader's den, and the sight was rather unfamiliar to her. But what stood out the most was the smell. The whole place smelled like Shadestar. In fact, it so strongly smelled of Shadestar that she couldn't tell for certain if he frequently invited others into his den or not. Still, it did supply shelter from the cold, and Thorntooth felt a little warmer already.

Knowing that Shadestar would surely follow, since he wouldn't leave someone in his den alone, the she-cat moved off to the side and sat down, swiping a paw over her ears. It was a nice den. Smaller than the warriors' den, of course, but that was natural, considering that this den was for the leader and not a bunch of full-grown cats.

It'd be hers someday. The thought made her feel rather giddy inside. But, first things first -- Thorntooth had to get Shadestar to make her the new deputy of ThunderClan. Acting like an apprentice on her first hunt -- overly excited and careless -- wouldn't win him over. She had to be calm about this whole thing.

[» striker !]

shadestar.

feeling a little red-faced as thorntooth denied his offer of freshkill, shadestar realised that he was so used to being given first choice of any of the food that was supplied to his clan that he forgot his normal warriors recieved second -to-last choice, coming only slightly before the young apprentices in the pecking order. he could have hit himself in the face for such an oversight - what did he seem like to thorntooth? an overfed, contented leader with no connection to his clan? he would die from the embarrassment - and so with shame hidden beneath a slightly less positive smile, he followed thorntooth into his den. he was embarrassed slightly by the fact the den was filled with his scent and only his scent, not just the general wet-fur and warm-breath smell of the warrior den, where thorntooth undoubtedly spent these cold leafbare nights. he hoped she felt a little warmer in here as opposed to the snowbound and frosty morning outside. "i do hope that's better for you. i wish i had more to offer than a scent-ridden den and some leaves, but..." but there was a gathering coming up very soon, and he had a particularly pressing matter to bring to thorntooth's attention - which was part of the reason he had chosen the seclusion of his own den.

he settled into a more relaxed manner as soon as he got into the den. this was his element, and this was where he spent his time thinking and making the major decisions that would affect his clan. with mixed emotions about what thorntooth would be feeling right now and whether he should launch right into what he had planned to say to her, instead he decided to break the ice with a thought that had been playing on his mind for a while now. "i've never been a strong fighter," he said amiably, not a bit of shame in that statement. "my main concern is the welfare of my clan, not petty border disputes. but you knew that," he said softly. thorntooth was strong, agile and powerful, with a mind and tongue to match. he had been considering the huge gap that having no deputy left inside a clan for a long time, and he accepted the glaring holes in his own personality that came as a detriment to his clan at times. he knew what they said about him, but insults slid off him like water from a duck's back. to tell the truth, he had been searching for a deputy who would act as the military commander of the clan, who would organise patrols and be the loud and proud thunderclanner the other leaders wanted to see. "with a gathering on the way, i need cats behind me who are strong and determined," he said slowly, looking directly at her. "cats like you."

[/blockquote]

[Tralfamadore]

"Oh, this is a lot better than out there," Thorntooth said instantly when Shadestar apologized for the state of his den. Still, she couldn't help but agree with how he'd described it. "Scent-ridden" was an appropriate adjective. If she closed her eyes, she probably would have thought there were Shadestars everywhere, given how strong the smell was.

But as the leader talked, she remained silent, occasionally nodding or flicking her ears to show she was listening. Shadestar bringing up his lack of battle prowess was an interesting choice in conversation starters, to say the least. Thorntooth had never seen Shadestar fight. Not personally, no, but she had heard things, like how hesitant he was when he had to attack and how careless he was in evading enemy blows. Through it all, she'd never been quite sure if the rumors were exaggerated or not; it certainly wasn't beyond Shadestar's character to be awful at fighting, but Thorntooth would have liked to think that ThunderClan's leader would at least be competent in such a basic skill. Hearing Shadestar himself say that he was a poor fighter was... disheartening, to say the least. How did a cat like this become leader? Nonetheless, it caused a chorus of thoughts to erupt in her mind. It gave her a new drive to become leader -- to keep ThunderClan from falling apart under Shadestar's ineptitude. However kind he was, kindness wouldn't win battles. If, theoretically, SkyClan decided they wanted some of ThunderClan's territory, then ThunderClan needed a leader who could fearlessly lead the charge on SkyClan patrols.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, a dark, vile voice whispered, It'd be easy to kill him if he's that bad at fighting. She dismissed the thought with a flick of her head, which she belatedly disguised as a sneeze. Killing Shadestar was out of the question; even if he was a bad leader, he was still a good cat at heart. He was trying his best. He cared for ThunderClan. He just... didn't exactly have the best qualities for his position, and sometimes he probably didn't have his priorities straight.

His follow-up remark about how ThunderClan needed cats like her -- and Thorntooth couldn't mask her pride when he said that; she sat up a bit straighter at the compliment -- supplied a good distraction from the "kill Shadestar" thought. This was really starting to sound like a, 'Would you be the deputy of ThunderClan?' sort of talk, and that was a very good development. And to think that this morning she had been wondering if she would ever get a chance to smooth-talk Shadestar into it. The leader was doing it practically of his own accord!

Steady, Thorntooth. He hasn't made you deputy yet, the she-cat reminded herself. Don't count a mouse among the freshkill until it's in your claws.

"ThunderClan stands behind you, Shadestar." Thorntooth raised her head, her fur fluffed out in demonstration of her confidence. "Fighting over territory won't be necessary if we just stand our ground. None of the Clans would pick a fight during leaf-bare. Everyone suffers from prey shortages during these moons. As long as we make our presence clear, they'll stay away."

[» striker !]

shadestar.

he knew how it must have looked. that he was a failure as a leader, a coward, a generous and kind-hearted fool. but he and thorntooth, though casual aquaintances, had never been around each other to know the other well enough to make those judgements. he was honest with himself - fighting was not his best skill, and it had never been. he was too liberal-minded, always searching for the best in those he faced in battle. but when it came to hunting, to stalking, to sneaking, he was nigh on unparalleled. his sleek black coat, large eyes that reflected little to no light even at night and his aptitude for avoiding conflict in all of its forms. he had no need to fight face-to-face when he could sneak up on his prey, and he took it as a sign of stupidity when warriors ran blindly into the face of danger, challenging it head-on. but he reminded himself, that was what he needed a deputy for, for when other clans decided unnecessary blood-letting and death was worth it for a scrap of useless territory. with thunderclan's current status he would not have had the numbers to find a deputy if he had been a more violent type. but as yet, he still had to find himself one. smiling warmly, he said, "that's exactly what i was hoping for. i need close friends like you, thorntooth, friends i can trust."

however, he resisted the urge to sniff derisively at her statement. shielding herself behind what she protested was the view of the whole clan, she hid her true emotions - as usual. he had hoped that being so forthright at first might have given him a better clue as to what she wanted. she was so veiled sometimes, it was impossible to know what she was thinking. not a bad trait, not at all - but one that made leadership and making decisions that much more difficult. "of course we will stand our ground," he said, wondering what brought on the comment. he was a proud of his clan as any cat; it was built of strong, beautiful individuals. but he just could not see, and would never see, why pain and fatality were worth protecting whatever land other clans thought were worth their own injuries. but that was his view, and he would not force it on others of their clan; if battle was what the majority wanted, then they would get it, as soon as they had a deputy who was willing to give their own life for the clan. "how would you propose we make our presence clear? we mark our boundaries, and the borders of the clans have been the same for many moons. any leader who wastes the life given to us by starclan on this snow-bound territory is just kidding themselves."

[/blockquote]

[Tralfamadore]

"I don't mean we attack -- not unless provoked, anyway. We just need more frequent border patrols. If the other Clans scent that we're near the borders regularly, they'll be more inclined to stay away. If we make them think we'll attack if they come onto our territory, they won't, and we'll be able to focus our efforts on hunting and keeping ThunderClan strong." That seemed like a good compromise; Shadestar wasn't aggressive, he'd said as much himself. Then, a follow-up thought entered her mind. "It'll also keep ThunderClan from getting restless or anxious. Our warriors will feel like we're ready to fight, if it came to that, and that we won't be caught off-guard if one of the other Clans attacked."

Was she coming off as too deputy-like? Too eager to agree with him? Thorntooth's anxiety grew. What if she was actually ruining her chances at becoming deputy? She scanned Shadestar's face for any sign of contempt or disappointment, but she couldn't tell what he was thinking. To Thorntooth, Shadestar looked the same as he always did, except that this time he seemed a little concerned for the well-being of his Clan... and, though Thorntooth wasn't sure if it was her paranoia speaking or not, it looked like he was trying to figure her out. Her fur pricked up at the idea of Shadestar judging her to be unworthy of taking the position of ThunderClan's deputy, but she forced herself to relax again. Looking suspicious would make things worse. Quickly, as she gently swayed her tail from side to side, Thorntooth tried to come up with something that could salvage this situation.

"I'm sorry if I seem too forward about this. Some of the warriors have heard things... about an oncoming war. They say that Harestar of WindClan is becoming more aggressive by the day. We don't share any borders with Harestar, but if she sets an example for the rest of the Clans..." Thorntooth trailed off and looked down at her paws, starting to knead the soil with her claws. If this worked, Shadestar would think she was just worried about potential wars and write off her "suspicious" behavior as part of that. Still not looking her leader in the eye, she continued, "I don't want us to end up in a war we can't win. ThunderClan would fight to the death to protect ourselves, myself included, but, well, you already know how badly it could turn out."